Recently I spoke with our Flag Football and Cheer coaches about this year's theme of valuing relationships. Below is an outline of our conversations and points I shared and reviewed using the tool Think Orange (whatis orange.org)
- League Directors
- Other Coaches / Ref’s
- Assistant Coaches
- Players
- Players Family
Valuing Relationships in a biblical model we find in the life of Christ.
Scripture says, “Love the Lord your God………,”
Love your neighbor as yourself
“Loving People Trumps Everything” - Caz McCaslin, 2011, founder of Upward Sports
As you Value these relationships, and particularly your players, I want to put out some keys:
1. Imagine the End
Love the Lord our God, the Lord is One.
Moses establishes a framework for everything in this statement - GOD
It is it the centrality of Israel’s faith as a nation
As you coach, do it from the perspective that everything is connected to God.
- it’s a core piece of Upward Sports
- from the way you speak to the kids, greet the families, interact with others on the field, teach life virtues, teach football skills and football disciplines…It’s All About God -
- Moses draws this point out to us after using this passage over and over….Moses is saying, “it really doesn’t matter what our kids know if they really don’t know what really matters.” You can make them the best athlete or team on the field this season, but if we fail short to teach them the “connectivity of God” and how He has created them, then we have failed to teach them what really matters.
- As a coach, remind yourself frequently that God is God, it doesn’t cause you stress more (over kids tempers, playing abilities, etc) ; it cause you to trust more (trust that God has given you the opportunity to invest and value relationships)
- Ask yourself this question - if you can imagine the end, then “Who do I really Want them to Become.”
2. Fight for the Heart
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength
Moses is fighting for something that is more important than lifestyle, life practices, (athletic gains). He is fighting for the heart.
- Caz MaCaslin, founder of Upward Sports, has said it this way, “we are competing for souls of every child.” There are l lot of other leagues in our community, but one of the ways we are unique is a desire to see changed lives through recreation.
As a coach, and as a parent, one of the most powerful things you can do is to learn to communicate in a style that values relationships!
It’s not about a set of rules for your team. It’s about knowing each team member and understanding the best way to communicate your reasons for why it is you’re asking them to grow in his or her faith and his or her skill that you have demonstrated.
Coaching is not creating robots for response. Yes, I wish all my players just did as I told. But, it doesn’t work that way. Coaching is about you learning how to communicate effectively to get the best response out of each player.
You fight for the heart of your player best when you are building a relationship that is trustworthy!
God will always fight for the hearts of people He loves. That’s why Moses says give him your heart and soul, because you can trust Him forever.
3. Make it Personal
These commandments that I give to you today are to be upon your hearts
Love is connected to the principle of legacy.
Think back to the coach you most remember….Why? (did he/she express love, care, etc) That coach has a legacy.
As a coach - Moses is saying to the Israelites, before you can ask “who my children are becoming, I have to examine who am I becoming?”
Problem we face sometimes as coaches and parents is that we don’t know exactly what it is we want our kids to “catch.”
Think to yourself now, what is it that you want to transfer to your team from a spiritual perspective?
- Often it’s vague - we know it has to do with the Bible and God, but beyond that it gets fuzzy
Coaches have influence on the players and the families they are working with. You will either have negative or positive influence.
What you do will impact the people you are investing in:
- How you pursue God in your own life
- How you love
- How you treat players, other coaches, ref’s, parents
- How you respond to authority and guidelines
- How you communicate values and perspectives of life
4. Create a Rhythm
Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates
You may be thinking that Moses was a great coach - because this is what you want your kids to do with your big fat playbooks I’m sure…..
You hear it all the time, particularly in basketball or pitching in baseball, “we got to get in the rhythm.”
We can be distracted from a lot of things in our lives - (Parable of the Sower talks about the thorns and rough grounds)
Media, materials, hyper kids, nagging parents, etc
Rhythm requires 2 components - intentionality and constancy
The time you will be spending with your team and families needs to be intentional and constant.
Make an effort to make an impression or communicate what is core and important. Second, this effort needs to happen repeatedly and establish a pattern of communication with them. (greet them, ask questions of interest, emails each week, etc.
5. Widen the Circle
Hear O Israel…..
Moses is going back to remind us that he was speaking to all of Israel.
Yes, it’s written for guidelines to parents, but it for all the family.
Think this way when you arrive each night for practice and game-day -
Some form of a family unit is present
80% of families in the US are struggling with being single parents, not interested in God, and need an influential man or women in the life of their child. The family unit is not as neatly defined as we sometimes think.
The culture that you will encounter this season will not only be parents listening, but it will be “crowds of relatives” - siblings, cousins, grandparents, etc.
You, the coach, are a LEADER - recognize the importance of supporting the family.
Coaches need to be intentional about being spiritual leaders and mentors of those playing on their teams.
