Essence of Coaching

Recently I spoke with our Flag Football and Cheer coaches about this year's theme of valuing relationships. Below is an outline of our conversations and points I shared and reviewed using the tool Think Orange (whatis orange.org)

This season we want to challenge you and encourage you to Value Relationships:

• League Directors
• Other Coaches / Ref’s
• Assistant Coaches
• Players
• Players Family

Valuing Relationships in a biblical model we find in the life of Christ.

Scripture says, “Love the Lord your God………,”

Love your neighbor as yourself

“Loving People Trumps Everything” - Caz McCaslin, 2011, founder of Upward Sports

As you Value these relationships, and particularly your players, I want to put out some keys:

1. Imagine the End

Love the Lord our God, the Lord is One.

Moses establishes a framework for everything in this statement - GOD

It is it the centrality of Israel’s faith as a nation

As you coach, do it from the perspective that everything is connected to God.

• it’s a core piece of Upward Sports
• from the way you speak to the kids, greet the families, interact with others on the field, teach life virtues, teach football skills and football disciplines…It’s All About God -
• Moses draws this point out to us after using this passage over and over….Moses is saying, “it really doesn’t matter what our kids know if they really don’t know what really matters.” You can make them the best athlete or team on the field this season, but if we fail short to teach them the “connectivity of God” and how He has created them, then we have failed to teach them what really matters.
• As a coach, remind yourself frequently that God is God, it doesn’t cause you stress more (over kids tempers, playing abilities, etc) ; it cause you to trust more (trust that God has given you the opportunity to invest and value relationships)
• Ask yourself this question - if you can imagine the end, then “Who do I really Want them to Become.”

2. Fight for the Heart

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength

Moses is fighting for something that is more important than lifestyle, life practices, (athletic gains). He is fighting for the heart.

• Caz MaCaslin, founder of Upward Sports, has said it this way, “we are competing for souls of every child.” There are l lot of other leagues in our community, but one of the ways we are unique is a desire to see changed lives through recreation.

As a coach, and as a parent, one of the most powerful things you can do is to learn to communicate in a style that values relationships!

It’s not about a set of rules for your team. It’s about knowing each team member and understanding the best way to communicate your reasons for why it is you’re asking them to grow in his or her faith and his or her skill that you have demonstrated.

Coaching is not creating robots for response. Yes, I wish all my players just did as I told. But, it doesn’t work that way. Coaching is about you learning how to communicate effectively to get the best response out of each player.

You fight for the heart of your player best when you are building a relationship that is trustworthy!

God will always fight for the hearts of people He loves. That’s why Moses says give him your heart and soul, because you can trust Him forever.

3. Make it Personal

These commandments that I give to you today are to be upon your hearts

Love is connected to the principle of legacy.

Think back to the coach you most remember….Why? (did he/she express love, care, etc) That coach has a legacy.

As a coach - Moses is saying to the Israelites, before you can ask “who my children are becoming, I have to examine who am I becoming?”

Problem we face sometimes as coaches and parents is that we don’t know exactly what it is we want our kids to “catch.”

Think to yourself now, what is it that you want to transfer to your team from a spiritual perspective?

• Often it’s vague - we know it has to do with the Bible and God, but beyond that it gets fuzzy

Coaches have influence on the players and the families they are working with. You will either have negative or positive influence.

What you do will impact the people you are investing in:

• How you pursue God in your own life
• How you love
• How you treat players, other coaches, ref’s, parents
• How you respond to authority and guidelines
• How you communicate values and perspectives of life

4. Create a Rhythm

Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates

You may be thinking that Moses was a great coach - because this is what you want your kids to do with your big fat playbooks I’m sure…..

You hear it all the time, particularly in basketball or pitching in baseball, “we got to get in the rhythm.”

We can be distracted from a lot of things in our lives - (Parable of the Sower talks about the thorns and rough grounds)

Media, materials, hyper kids, nagging parents, etc

Rhythm requires 2 components - intentionality and constancy

The time you will be spending with your team and families needs to be intentional and constant.

Make an effort to make an impression or communicate what is core and important. Second, this effort needs to happen repeatedly and establish a pattern of communication with them. (greet them, ask questions of interest, emails each week, etc.

5. Widen the Circle

Hear O Israel…..

Moses is going back to remind us that he was speaking to all of Israel.

Yes, it’s written for guidelines to parents, but it for all the family.

Think this way when you arrive each night for practice and game-day -

Some form of a family unit is present

80% of families in the US are struggling with being single parents, not interested in God, and need an influential man or women in the life of their child. The family unit is not as neatly defined as we sometimes think.

The culture that you will encounter this season will not only be parents listening, but it will be “crowds of relatives” - siblings, cousins, grandparents, etc.

You, the coach, are a LEADER - recognize the importance of supporting the family.

Coaches need to be intentional about being spiritual leaders and mentors of those playing on their teams.

Country Style Donuts

Today Kelly and I found one of Richmond's establishments near the airport. After being here for three years, we traveled over to Williamsburg Road to check out Country Style Donuts. It was a blast from our childhood with the old baby blue swivel counter chairs and the fragrance of warm fresh donuts (38 varieties). Simple descriptions labeled each donut shelf and thick porcelain coffee mugs laid across the counter. As if the morning donut is not good enough, they are open twenty- four hours. Finally, after all the local stories, I too have a story to share about Country Style Donuts. Check them out for yourself.

Character Camp

This past week we welcomed 70 campers back to Rolando Lamb's Character Camp. This camp focuses on the A Game - Attitude, Academics, and Athletics. Coach Lamb uses his basketball skills and passion for God to instill in every child the heart of a champion. Each day Coach Lamb teaches character through specific scriptures as reflected through the life of Christ and players are required to learn passages of their choice each day.Throughout the week campers are reminded, "While there is much talent in the world of sport and talent can get you to the top, it's character that keeps you there." Campers also spend the four days doing conditioning drills and basketball skill drills.

"A Game" Daily Disciplines provided for each player are:
* I will read my Bible everyday
* I will have a positive attitude
* I will obey my parents
* I will make good grades
* I will practice to be the best

"Champions do daily, what losers do occasionally"

Reflections of Investment

Tonight I had the privilege of heading downtown to Ben Wallace's Gym for the Richmond Pro Am league to watch some basketball. From local college players to NBA players. Good basketball and a lot of fun.

What was best about the night was the number of people that we (Steve Rowe, Alvin Allen, Brendan English) knew from using the Cool Spring Rec Center. From relationships with those in our adult basketball leagues, people who play during open gym hours, and players who we partner with for personal training time. My intentions were to go and enjoy watching some local talent of one or two players we knew. But what we saw was a reflection of individuals that the openness of the Rec Center has invested in. We saw the people who come to play basketball and who have gained our trust and allowed us to invest in them spiritually and physically. Tonight was a time in which we met them in their neighborhood and comfort zone.

Investing in people goes both ways. It's not just serving folks in your comfort zone or personal space. It involves going to the places where they hang out, attend events, and meet their friends.

I am thankful for the work of the Rec Ministry and open basketball for the community. And I am thankful for the smiles on the faces of those who are glad to see us in their communities and gatherings.

Portion Distortion

Summer time food is great! Pole Green Market is a local Hanover market located minutes from my house and I love to go there and see the colors of the food, smell the summer fruits, and enjoy the fact that the produce and food is grown locally.

Food is an essential part of our daily lives. It provides nurishment , energy, and even prevents and fights off disease. But the amount of food we have become accustomed to is creating high stats of obesity nationwide. Sizing of plates, expectations of "amount" per cost, and the quick and easy food process is hindering us from being the healthy people God created us to be.

Marty Rowe of Body Mechanix and member of Cool Spring recently spoke about food portion and nutrition on local TV WTVR. Check out her interview at:

http://www.wtvr.com/videobeta/f83217ad-95eb-4ab9-873d-bf33e7c400a3/Community/Losing-Weight

Rest

Memorial Day weekend was great for me. I had Saturday off from any games / leagues and was able to enjoy the company of my wife and family for Brendan's 12th birthday. Sunday was spent at Nationals Park with some great Rec Volunteers. Monday was more time with Kelly, home projects, and Orioles baseball. And finally, Tuesday was date time with Kelly during lunch at the water park at Kings Dominion. It ended up being a four day weekend for me that allowed for rest and recovery.

Recently Kelly and I have been reading Tim Keller's book Kings Cross. It is a great compliment to studying the book Mark. Keller does a great job of picking out certain passages and providing scriptural insight that leads to deeper meditation and contemplation throughout the day. The most recent chapter was reference to Mark 2: 23-28. Keller speaks on the topic of rest and the Sabbath. Jesus uses the term "I AM" throughout the scripture and demonstrates that it is through him that we truly find rest. Jesus gives us two thoughts:

1. Jesus calls for me and you to take time off - physical and mental time away - on a regular basis. Stepping out and away from daily activity will provide for fun and vitality in your life.

2. Rest is also a time that you and I can be satisfied with our work, so satisfied, that we can leave it alone. Looking back at Genesis and the creation story we see this example lived out. It was after He created that He stepped away and was satisfied. Unfortunately with the technology world, we seem to always be connected mentally to our work through email, phones, twitter etc.

Learning the discipline of rest and the use of the Sabbath - restoring the diminished, replenishing the drained, and repairing the broken- is something we all need to learn to enjoy. And underlying both of these points is the fact that it "is" Jesus who provides the rest for our bodies and mind, as well as the satisfaction of our work. Through Him, we no longer need to look toward the work of self-justification. The cross is the point at which true rest and satisfaction can begin in our lives.

Interns....they're back !

You know summer is here when the camp schedules get full and your interns arrive! This summer we welcome to the Rec Center Logan Spiers (Liberty University) and Luke Raikes (Old Dominion University). Please be sure to welcome them as you see them in the Rec Center and out on the fields.

Summer interns are key. Gone are the days that interns just do the dirty work that others don't want to do (OK, they will do some of that). But today's intern is looking for validity and someone to help them explore their gifts and skills over a short period of time. They are looking for the opportunity to be trusted, the opportunity to be creative, and the opportunity to learn through both failure and success.

I guess with that in mind, aren't we all interns? We are people living on this earth for a short period of time searching for opportunities to explore our gifts and talents with someone who we can trust and feel comfortable with whether we fail or succeed. Back in the day we referred to interns as disciples. They were people like you and me studying under the feet of a Savior and learning how to share the good news which He delivered in word and deed.

As an intern myself at one time, I remember the excitement of an opportunity. And I also remember the freedom of knowing I wasn't in it for long. I would suggest today that we live in that same mindset. The mindset that we are going to live in excitement of sharing the good news of the Christ life (in word and deed) knowing that we only have a short period in which to serve.