Parent Survival Guide

This morning I was speaking with a community group on the topic of Recreation. While the topic of Recreation is generic and can cover a lot of material, I chose to speak on the Role of Parents to their Child in a sports program.

Over the last twenty years we have seen recreation sports change from backyard sandlots to high dollar sports complexes, kids paying all sports to now a focus sport year round, college coaches recruiting at the middle school level, and the cost of leagues and equipment has risen beyond the means of the average next door neighbor. And after all of these changes for the so-called "better" - 70 % of the twenty million kids playing sports in the US will quit by age 13.

Here are a few points to think about when parenting your child through their "Recreation " sports league:

• Ensure that a child's involvement is safe, beneficial, and enjoyable
• Learn what your child wants from participating in sports. Be careful not to force your child in sports based on your wants
• Provide a supportive atmosphere - there is a difference between supportive and nudging or pressuring a child
• Determine when your child is ready to begin playing a sport. There are different needs for different sports. Know the physical, mental, and social development of your child.
  
• Protect your child from abusive coaches - physically and verbally
• Help your child develop realistic expectations of their capabilities in sports. This means as a parent you need to have realistic expectations for them as well. Unrealistic expectations always equals frustration - for you and the child
• Help your child interpret the experiences associated with competitive sports - winning and losing

While there are others, I've listed these as a starting point to keep in mind. In today's Richmond Times, Cal Ripken was quoted as saying, "If you are in any doubt as to what to do, cheer your child on like a grandparent. When they do good, say "that was a good play." And when they do bad, say, "That wasn't so bad."

There is nothing wrong with cheering, supporting, and encouraging your child to be the best they can be. The key is to find the proper balance for the child and teach them and yourself to live in that balance. Remember, it's RECREATION!